This could be the last post on the What Is Non Duality web site. As my life journey flows, my perspective has changed.  I was a seeker who, after an encounter with non duality, ceased seeking. I then made the short video What is Non Duality which to date has been viewed over 30,o000 times on You Tube.

My What is Non Duality  blog explored non duality from my perspective, sometimes gently, sometimes in radical ways.  As I traveled on my life journey I have become more and more concerned about how you live with non duality. I came across many non duality speakers who, despite claiming to be awakened, seemed to lead unawakened lives, with unresolved emotional issues. If awakening is about freedom then many of those who claim to be awake seem to be imprisoned by their own hangups. Instead of coming from a place of no self, they appear to come from a place of ego, self absorption and self importance.

It appears that having an awakening to non  separateness is not enough to lead a life of freedom. What is needed is somehow to integrate this revelation into everyday life. My question to myself is:

How can I lead a non dual life in this everyday world?

In an attempt to deal with this I have started a new project called LifeField at www.lifefield.co.uk

This deals with three  interwoven threads:

1. The Matrix
   The Matrix is the world of illusion created out of your hopes, fears and desires that obscures who you really are.
2. Non Duality
   The matrix maintains the appearance of separateness, of duality. Non duality reveals the essential oneness of everything.
3. The LifeField
   The LifeField is the zero point energy sometimes known as emptiness. Form arises from emptiness, form subsides to emptiness.

If you have awoken to non duality then the LifeField has broken through. For a lot of people this is a temporary state. Because the Matrix is so strong, and because you have built and maintained the Matrix all your life, you rarely unplug completely from it. It drags you back into its sphere. Even if the vision of non duality is still with you it is not always enough to free you from the grip of illusion.

With the LifeField project I hope to explore these 3 strands and show how they relate to each other. I will attempt to construct a framework to enable you to integrate non duality into your life so that it penetrates every fiber of your being. I m not sure whether I can achieve  this, but I’ll give it a go.

Please go over to www.lifefield.co.uk and comment on what you find.

Why is belief so attractive?

• Belief comforts you
• Belief makes you feel secure
• Belief counteracts uncertainty
• Belief allows you to join with others who share your belief
• Belief can put an end to searching

It appears that human brains are wired to believe in things. Often these things have not been proven, such as believing in:

• God
• Flying Saucers
• Homeopathy
• Conspiracy theories
• Ghosts
• Psychic powers
• Gurus
• Non duality speakers

Is it possible to have a life without belief? To believe in nothing. That could be scary. I not referring to everyday things that are probable but not certain, such as the probability that you will wake up tomorrow or that a hurricane will not blow down your houses today. I mean those core beliefs that inform your life, your faith, your vision of what your life is all about.

Non-duality is a glimpse of emptiness which contains no belief, no faith, no meaning, no thing. A close encounter with non-duality can shatter all belief systems. It can leave you psychologically naked.

Do you want to go there? Or are you happy to remain a seeker, believing that there is something to find? Defining yourself as a seeker becomes your comfort zone, your security blanket. I joined the company of seekers, hung at in Indian cafes in the spiritual town of Rishikesh. I had endless spiritual conversations. It was great fun. I loved being a seeker and sharing my stories with other seekers.

Then seeking came to an end and was replaced with… well not much at all.

But, hey, life goes on and maybe tomorrow God will appear in a cloud and tell me to believe in Him again.

There is a tendency amongst speakers on non duality to say that once you have “got it” then that’s it. You are liberated, awakened and have reached the final frontier as far as spirituality is concerned.

I disagree. Once you have realized the oneness, seen that there is no separation, no duality of you and the rest of the universe; then you have certainly reached the end of seeking.  You then have the opportunity to embark on another journey – the journey to enlightenment.

What! You may exclaim. Isn’t the seeing of non-duality enlightenment? No, it is an awakening certainly, but it is only a stage. The trap that many people fall into is to think that non-duality is the end. The end of seeking is such a relief that it is understandable that you would want to just rest and be where you are. What has not happened is the integration of non-duality into your life.

I’ve heard non-duality speakers talk about there being no separate self. Nobody is in to experience anything. No person, no choices, nothing to strive for. Time and time again I’ve seen these people act from a very egotistical perspective. There is selfishness, jealousy, anger, resentment, insecurity – all the traits of someone acting from the separate ego perspective.

If you are truly grounded in non-duality then this is how you operate 24 hours of the day.  It is the essence that informs your every action.

I am not there. How do you get there? Part of the answer to this question is having the awareness of the whole. Right now there is:

• Typing on a keyboard
• The words entering my mind
• The computer screen
• The birds outside
• The noise of the computer fan
• The sound of the wind
• and many many more things…

Normally I focus on one or two elements – the typing and the words perhaps. Awareness of the whole is when attention is not focused. All the above elements are experienced as one without singling out  a particular item.

This is the beginning of the integration. It is a journey of awareness. In this journey there is no seeking, but there is curiosity and a sense of adventure.

As Buzz Lightyear says in Toy Story:

“To infinity and beyond.”

You’ve read all the Non-Duality books and have been going to non-duality speakers for years. You still have not got this.

Along comes Jenny Upstart who, after a few weeks exposure to non-duality, is walking across Clapham Common one day and, with a blinding flash of awareness, gets it.  She then declares herself a realized and liberated soul and starts to teach all about non-duality.

You are a member of the audience at one of her meetings and put your hand up to ask a question?

“Is there anything I can do to get this?”

Jenny says: “No, there is nothing you can do. There is no you, so there is no you to do or get anything?”

This seems so unfair to you. Why her, and not you? You are the one who has been a spiritual seeker for years and years.

You’ve paid your dues, sat at the feet of many a Guru and spiritual teacher. You have put so much effort into your spiritual life. You remember spending all day removing stones from lentils because you were told that this service would take you closer to God.  You spent all your hard earned money traveling the world  to seek out spiritual teachers. Many of them promised to show you how to be enlightened, but none managed to do this. You feel that this was all your fault. not theirs.

All Jenny did was get on the London tube, travel a few stops to the Friends Meeting House and listen to non-duality speakers shortly before her walk across the Common revealed all.

You go to Clapham Common and walk the route Jenny took when she became enlightened. It rains. You get soaked. You find no magic in the air.

So, is there anything that you can do to stop wasting your time? The good news is that nothing was your fault. Jenny may haves seen the non-duality and wholeness of everything and cut through the illusion of the separate self, but this does not, by itself, make her a good teacher. She has no skill or knowledge of how to get others to see what she sees. All she can do is point out certain characteristics of non-duality, in the hope that this pointing out will resonate with some of her audience. She also makes a bit of money out of speaking which pays for her smart white outfits.

So how do you go about getting this? Well there is a method. Here is my summary of a 4 step approach to non-duality:

1. Preparation.

In the preparation stage you cultivate the motivation and commitment to practice.

2. Object Meditation

Learn to meditate on an object. This could be your breath, a mantra, a candle flame or whatever works best for you. The only purpose of this meditation is to develop the skill of concentration.

3. Mindfulness

Once you have developed the skill of concentration, you then  make the object of concentration your own mind. You observe your own internal dialogue. You watch your reactions to events that take place in your life. You pay attention to your senses. You do this without discrimination, that is you develop the ability to be neither  attracted  to or repelled by any thought of feeling that passes through your awareness.

4. Insight

You then turn your attention away for the content of your mind to observing the nature of the mind. You see the flow of thoughts arising, staying then leaving. You observe the emptiness from which all  these thoughts emerge. You try to find the separate entity you call your mind or your awareness.

You then come across the non-dual nature of everything and you awaken.

Those, briefly are the steps. Obviously to do all the steps you will need a lot more instructions.

There are a lot more steps after step 4. Non-duality may be the end of seeking, but it is only the beginning of another great journey.

• Gurus
• Spiritual teachers
• Mystical experiences
• Spiritual practices
• Spiritual companions

Although I developed ideas about compassion, wholeness and emanating love to heal the world; to tell the truth, I was basically seeking from the perspective of self interest. There was something I felt was missing in my life. I did not know what that was, but I felt that somehow spirituality would provide the answers and this would ease the pain in my life.

Above all, I was seeking something called enlightenment that, when found, would stop all my suffering and pain.  From then on I would be living in a state of blissful nirvana.

Then one day, out of the blue, I saw the oneness of everything, the illusion of my separate identity and I thought, great, now I am enlightened. I can rest easy.

As time went on it became clear that I was still acting from self interest. I met many others who had also come to this non-duality. When we talked we appeared to understand each other. Enlightened beings talking to other enlightened beings.

The more I mixed with these people, the more obvious it became that, despite what they said about there being no self, no experiencer, no chooser; they appeared to very much operate from self interest just like me. I met teachers who on the platform declared that there is only one human being, that we are essentially all one – yet away from the platform they displayed big egos that manifested as jealousy, disappointment, resentment,  bitching and so on. This was not inclusiveness, this was separation, duality.

What is going on here? How can you see wholeness, oneness, non-duality and yet still operate out of blatant self interest to the point of callousness?

I have now come to the conclusion that the non-dual perspective is only a stage. It is not enlightenment. It is a stage on the way to enlightenment. If so, what is the next stage?

To go beyond non-duality requires the integration of the non-dual perspective into your every breath, your every moment. Can you truly operate, not from the self, but from the whole? To have this ability moves you into a completely different realm. You no longer operate from the non-dual perspective. You are non-duality.

Of course, I am not there. I am not the enlightened being I once thought I was. I have awoken to the truth of non-duality – but now I must travel on a different road.  There is the metaphor of the mountain. Non-duality is perhaps half way up the mountain. Even the top of the mountain is not there, for there  is still the image of an individual standing on the top of a spiritual mountain. Maybe true enlightenment is when there is no you, no mountain, no way, no path.

Do I try to walk up this mountain?  Or do I just let go, release myself, merge with the whole until there is no me left. Can I let go of the survival instinct that maintains my self interest? Can I destroy myself, yet still walk on this earth, leaving no footprints?

One of the states of duality is the sense that there is an I which resides inside a body, and then there is a world outside the body.

I look out through these eyes to a computer screen on which text is appearing as I type. For most practical purposes this view of me and my relationship to the outside world works. It allows me to function in the world, to interact with the world, to communicate with other people in the world.

What is really going on here? There may indeed be a computer screen in front of me, but I cannot see it as it really is. Light passes from the screen into my eyes. These light waves are then interpreted by the brain which then constructs an image which I label computer screen. Am I seeing the screen out there or is it in here, inside my brain?

Sound waves come from speakers in my computer, then hit my ear drums, and my brain translates then into sounds. There is then another level to this.  I interpret the sounds and judge their merit. If I hear Pink Floyd singing Is There Anybody Out There then I call these sound waves great music, and there is an emotional response to it. If my neighbours dog barks for a long time I call this sound irritation.  There is the raw data, sound or light waves, and there is the interpretation of this data.

As you become aware of what is going on, the sense of me in here and stuff out there breaks down. There is only awareness, and in that awareness, sound waves, light waves, odours, touch sensations occur and somewhere there is a separate identity that sifts through all this data and tries to make sense of it all.

Then you walk in the room. I see your body, hear your voice. You too are happening in this awareness. My separate identity sees your separate identity, but the only way that I can perceive your separate identity is as part of myself. If you are a close friend then this perception is within the context of my memories of you. When you talk I am constantly interpreting what you are saying, but without direct experience of your thought processes that led to your words. This is against the background of my image of you.

We are looking here at the content of your awareness. This content constructs how you see the world, and  creates divisions between you and me and me and the world outside.

What about awareness itself? Is it possible to sense pure awareness without referring to its content, without forms, empty?

Formless emptiness is non-duality.

One things that non-dualists says is that there is no separate self.

How does the mind get around that one? It seems so obvious that you exist. Every time that you use the word ‘I’, you are establishing that you exist as a single standalone entity.

So let’s find the I. Can you find the I without the content of the I? What I mean by this is that, when you use the word I, you are generally referring to an experience. You say:

• I am hungry
• I will get back to you on that one
• I feel sad
• I will think about that

Can you find the ‘I ‘stripped of all the thoughts and feelings? Sit in a quiet place, eyes closed, allow thoughts to come and go. If you do this for a while you may find that thoughts slow down, even stop. At this point get a sense of the I. Observe the I. You may be successful in this. But then the question arises, what is it that is observing the I? Then concentrate on what it is that is observing the I. Then find out what is it that is observing the observing of the I.  If you can do this for a while, going back and back into the various I’s, it will feel like two mirrors facing each other where you see an endless series of reflections, each smaller than the preceding one.

Though you get a sense of identity and act as if you are a seprate individual, you cannot find this individual. You cannot observe yourself, as observation implies two parts – the observer and the observed. Can your individual self be split into two – what you observe and the thing that is doing the observation?

Philosophers like David Hume, Plato and Aristotle have thought wrestled with this issue of separate identity. I am not recommending that you agonise over  this. It is sufficient to be aware of inability to find the self.

If you are interested in finding out truth for yourself then it helps to question all of your assumptions including the fundamental one that you exist. If, on the other hand, you may want to indulge in  comforting new age type beliefs and meditate, chant, peace dance, channel, go on shamanic journeys, then these certainly will make you feel good.  But how many of these ways really start to unravel your fundamental beliefs? Few go this route as it can be uncomfortable, even painful.

Are you prepared to let go of every single belief that you hold dear? Can your soul be stripped bare, so that no content is left? How far down this rabbit hole do you want to go?

Image via Wikipedia

I was watching a video on the internet today. It was a talk by a man who had been involved in research into the secret of a long life. He looked at several areas of the world where the average lifespan is considerably longer than the average.

He showed slides of 102 year olds water skiing, a 97 year old heart surgeon and a 103 year old grannie. They all appeared to live happy and active lives. When he looked into why they lived longer, one thing that these people had in common was a strong social life and a religious belief. In American, there is a community of Seventh Day Adventists who spend 24 hours every week worshipping God and socialising.  Research has shown that a religious faith can add about 4 years to your life.

So, if you are an atheist living alone  who doesn’t get out much, then this implies that your life will be short lived.

Non duality is presented as dealing with truth rather than faith of belief. One of the problems with finding truth is that you may not like the truth. From my perspective the Adventists are living an illusion that is far from the truth, and yet with their faith and community they appear to be living the ideal life that makes them happy and adds years to their life.

Some people when they suspect that the non-dual perspective could be true, feel a sense of flatness, as seeing the illusion of the self does not appear to provide much comfort. Many non dual speakers say that non-duality is not about self improvement or easing your pain. This is a stark message. Then when you mix in the concept of everything being empty, all things arising from emptiness, what is there left for you? What’s in it for me?

Maybe you should blindly take up a religious faith and don’t allow yourself to question that faith. That route, researchers say, can lead to happiness and a longer life.

Or perhaps you are one of those people who stick with finding out what is real, what is true. You yearn to know absolutely. Faith and belief are not enough for you.

The silver lining is that when you fully embrace non-duality, your life may get better, there will be an ease and, just maybe, you will live longer. But at this point you are so dis-identified with the separate self, that the thought of dying does not concern you. Survival is not what motivates you.

You are happy to live as long as you live, whether that be to 50 years old or 100 years old. The search for longevity is over.

I’m  spending a day with my family: eating good food, drinking fine wine, opening presents, taking the dog for a walk in the snow, playing silly board games. A normal Christmas I suppose.

What is the meaning of Christmas?

As I am not a Christian then I do not have religious feelings about Christmas. For me, Christmas has no meaning. It is there to be enjoyed. Indulging in pleasurable experiences needs no reason.

Being awake means that a lot of things that I do in life are no different from people around me. The only thing that changes is the interpretation of events and actions. There is less clinging, less identifying with my actions as being who I am.

Yes, eat, drink and be merry. Feel love and peace for the world. Reflect on the year that’s been and the year that lies ahead. With purpose and meaning removed from all this, then everything just is as it is.

Let everything be as it is.

But also leave room for mystery.

Image via Wikipedia

The human brain has evolved to do complicated things. Whenever I see a scientist pictured in front of a blackboard covered with equations, I think to myself how complicated the equations look, and what a brilliant mind the scientist must have to figure it all out.

I’ve just finished a computer program Life Manager Pro that involved hundreds of lines of computer code. My brain managed to sort out all the complex interactions involved to make the program do what it is supposed to do.

The human brain is great at complex stuff like this, but when it comes to non-duality there is a tendency to over complicate what it is all about. If you go to Non Duality Press you will find lots of books written about non-duality. If you read them all there is the danger that you mind will make non-duality into some intellectual puzzle that needs solving.

I was thinking of how to express the essence of my perspective in as few a words as possible. How do I reduce all the ideas and concepts to their essence?

There is no need to ponder about the nature of non-dualism, speculate on oneness or the existence of the separate self.  As complex as the brain is, it will never really get this, so don’t bother trying.

The short version of the essence is:

Let it be.

The long version is:

Let everything be as it is.

If you can stop here and get this, then there is no need to read any other of my blog entries or go to non-duality press and order any of their books.

If you want further explanation of what let it be means, then it may help to see what starts to falls away when you let it be:

• Seeking
• Clinging
• Choices
• Preferences
• Identity
• Judgement
• Identification
• Every thing
• No thing

Rest in your own being. Be indifferent to your mind and your ego. They are not your friends neither are they enemies.

There is nowhere to go. Nothing to be. Nothing to do.

Is this non-duality?

When the labels and logos have gone, nothing is left.

Welcome to paradise, or is this hell? At this point you do not care.