You’ve read all the Non-Duality books and have been going to non-duality speakers for years. You still have not got this.

Along comes Jenny Upstart who, after a few weeks exposure to non-duality, is walking across Clapham Common one day and, with a blinding flash of awareness, gets it.  She then declares herself a realized and liberated soul and starts to teach all about non-duality.

You are a member of the audience at one of her meetings and put your hand up to ask a question?

“Is there anything I can do to get this?”

Jenny says: “No, there is nothing you can do. There is no you, so there is no you to do or get anything?”

This seems so unfair to you. Why her, and not you? You are the one who has been a spiritual seeker for years and years.

You’ve paid your dues, sat at the feet of many a Guru and spiritual teacher. You have put so much effort into your spiritual life. You remember spending all day removing stones from lentils because you were told that this service would take you closer to God.  You spent all your hard earned money traveling the world  to seek out spiritual teachers. Many of them promised to show you how to be enlightened, but none managed to do this. You feel that this was all your fault. not theirs.

All Jenny did was get on the London tube, travel a few stops to the Friends Meeting House and listen to non-duality speakers shortly before her walk across the Common revealed all.

You go to Clapham Common and walk the route Jenny took when she became enlightened. It rains. You get soaked. You find no magic in the air.

So, is there anything that you can do to stop wasting your time? The good news is that nothing was your fault. Jenny may haves seen the non-duality and wholeness of everything and cut through the illusion of the separate self, but this does not, by itself, make her a good teacher. She has no skill or knowledge of how to get others to see what she sees. All she can do is point out certain characteristics of non-duality, in the hope that this pointing out will resonate with some of her audience. She also makes a bit of money out of speaking which pays for her smart white outfits.

So how do you go about getting this? Well there is a method. Here is my summary of a 4 step approach to non-duality:

1. Preparation.

In the preparation stage you cultivate the motivation and commitment to practice.

2. Object Meditation

Learn to meditate on an object. This could be your breath, a mantra, a candle flame or whatever works best for you. The only purpose of this meditation is to develop the skill of concentration.

3. Mindfulness

Once you have developed the skill of concentration, you then  make the object of concentration your own mind. You observe your own internal dialogue. You watch your reactions to events that take place in your life. You pay attention to your senses. You do this without discrimination, that is you develop the ability to be neither  attracted  to or repelled by any thought of feeling that passes through your awareness.

4. Insight

You then turn your attention away for the content of your mind to observing the nature of the mind. You see the flow of thoughts arising, staying then leaving. You observe the emptiness from which all  these thoughts emerge. You try to find the separate entity you call your mind or your awareness.

You then come across the non-dual nature of everything and you awaken.

Those, briefly are the steps. Obviously to do all the steps you will need a lot more instructions.

There are a lot more steps after step 4. Non-duality may be the end of seeking, but it is only the beginning of another great journey.

• Gurus
• Spiritual teachers
• Mystical experiences
• Spiritual practices
• Spiritual companions

Although I developed ideas about compassion, wholeness and emanating love to heal the world; to tell the truth, I was basically seeking from the perspective of self interest. There was something I felt was missing in my life. I did not know what that was, but I felt that somehow spirituality would provide the answers and this would ease the pain in my life.

Above all, I was seeking something called enlightenment that, when found, would stop all my suffering and pain.  From then on I would be living in a state of blissful nirvana.

Then one day, out of the blue, I saw the oneness of everything, the illusion of my separate identity and I thought, great, now I am enlightened. I can rest easy.

As time went on it became clear that I was still acting from self interest. I met many others who had also come to this non-duality. When we talked we appeared to understand each other. Enlightened beings talking to other enlightened beings.

The more I mixed with these people, the more obvious it became that, despite what they said about there being no self, no experiencer, no chooser; they appeared to very much operate from self interest just like me. I met teachers who on the platform declared that there is only one human being, that we are essentially all one – yet away from the platform they displayed big egos that manifested as jealousy, disappointment, resentment,  bitching and so on. This was not inclusiveness, this was separation, duality.

What is going on here? How can you see wholeness, oneness, non-duality and yet still operate out of blatant self interest to the point of callousness?

I have now come to the conclusion that the non-dual perspective is only a stage. It is not enlightenment. It is a stage on the way to enlightenment. If so, what is the next stage?

To go beyond non-duality requires the integration of the non-dual perspective into your every breath, your every moment. Can you truly operate, not from the self, but from the whole? To have this ability moves you into a completely different realm. You no longer operate from the non-dual perspective. You are non-duality.

Of course, I am not there. I am not the enlightened being I once thought I was. I have awoken to the truth of non-duality – but now I must travel on a different road.  There is the metaphor of the mountain. Non-duality is perhaps half way up the mountain. Even the top of the mountain is not there, for there  is still the image of an individual standing on the top of a spiritual mountain. Maybe true enlightenment is when there is no you, no mountain, no way, no path.

Do I try to walk up this mountain?  Or do I just let go, release myself, merge with the whole until there is no me left. Can I let go of the survival instinct that maintains my self interest? Can I destroy myself, yet still walk on this earth, leaving no footprints?

One of the states of duality is the sense that there is an I which resides inside a body, and then there is a world outside the body.

I look out through these eyes to a computer screen on which text is appearing as I type. For most practical purposes this view of me and my relationship to the outside world works. It allows me to function in the world, to interact with the world, to communicate with other people in the world.

What is really going on here? There may indeed be a computer screen in front of me, but I cannot see it as it really is. Light passes from the screen into my eyes. These light waves are then interpreted by the brain which then constructs an image which I label computer screen. Am I seeing the screen out there or is it in here, inside my brain?

Sound waves come from speakers in my computer, then hit my ear drums, and my brain translates then into sounds. There is then another level to this.  I interpret the sounds and judge their merit. If I hear Pink Floyd singing Is There Anybody Out There then I call these sound waves great music, and there is an emotional response to it. If my neighbours dog barks for a long time I call this sound irritation.  There is the raw data, sound or light waves, and there is the interpretation of this data.

As you become aware of what is going on, the sense of me in here and stuff out there breaks down. There is only awareness, and in that awareness, sound waves, light waves, odours, touch sensations occur and somewhere there is a separate identity that sifts through all this data and tries to make sense of it all.

Then you walk in the room. I see your body, hear your voice. You too are happening in this awareness. My separate identity sees your separate identity, but the only way that I can perceive your separate identity is as part of myself. If you are a close friend then this perception is within the context of my memories of you. When you talk I am constantly interpreting what you are saying, but without direct experience of your thought processes that led to your words. This is against the background of my image of you.

We are looking here at the content of your awareness. This content constructs how you see the world, and  creates divisions between you and me and me and the world outside.

What about awareness itself? Is it possible to sense pure awareness without referring to its content, without forms, empty?

Formless emptiness is non-duality.

One things that non-dualists says is that there is no separate self.

How does the mind get around that one? It seems so obvious that you exist. Every time that you use the word ‘I’, you are establishing that you exist as a single standalone entity.

So let’s find the I. Can you find the I without the content of the I? What I mean by this is that, when you use the word I, you are generally referring to an experience. You say:

• I am hungry
• I will get back to you on that one
• I feel sad
• I will think about that

Can you find the ‘I ’stripped of all the thoughts and feelings? Sit in a quiet place, eyes closed, allow thoughts to come and go. If you do this for a while you may find that thoughts slow down, even stop. At this point get a sense of the I. Observe the I. You may be successful in this. But then the question arises, what is it that is observing the I? Then concentrate on what it is that is observing the I. Then find out what is it that is observing the observing of the I.  If you can do this for a while, going back and back into the various I’s, it will feel like two mirrors facing each other where you see an endless series of reflections, each smaller than the preceding one.

Though you get a sense of identity and act as if you are a seprate individual, you cannot find this individual. You cannot observe yourself, as observation implies two parts – the observer and the observed. Can your individual self be split into two – what you observe and the thing that is doing the observation?

Philosophers like David Hume, Plato and Aristotle have thought wrestled with this issue of separate identity. I am not recommending that you agonise over  this. It is sufficient to be aware of inability to find the self.

If you are interested in finding out truth for yourself then it helps to question all of your assumptions including the fundamental one that you exist. If, on the other hand, you may want to indulge in  comforting new age type beliefs and meditate, chant, peace dance, channel, go on shamanic journeys, then these certainly will make you feel good.  But how many of these ways really start to unravel your fundamental beliefs? Few go this route as it can be uncomfortable, even painful.

Are you prepared to let go of every single belief that you hold dear? Can your soul be stripped bare, so that no content is left? How far down this rabbit hole do you want to go?

Image via Wikipedia

I was watching a video on the internet today. It was a talk by a man who had been involved in research into the secret of a long life. He looked at several areas of the world where the average lifespan is considerably longer than the average.

He showed slides of 102 year olds water skiing, a 97 year old heart surgeon and a 103 year old grannie. They all appeared to live happy and active lives. When he looked into why they lived longer, one thing that these people had in common was a strong social life and a religious belief. In American, there is a community of Seventh Day Adventists who spend 24 hours every week worshipping God and socialising.  Research has shown that a religious faith can add about 4 years to your life.

So, if you are an atheist living alone  who doesn’t get out much, then this implies that your life will be short lived.

Non duality is presented as dealing with truth rather than faith of belief. One of the problems with finding truth is that you may not like the truth. From my perspective the Adventists are living an illusion that is far from the truth, and yet with their faith and community they appear to be living the ideal life that makes them happy and adds years to their life.

Some people when they suspect that the non-dual perspective could be true, feel a sense of flatness, as seeing the illusion of the self does not appear to provide much comfort. Many non dual speakers say that non-duality is not about self improvement or easing your pain. This is a stark message. Then when you mix in the concept of everything being empty, all things arising from emptiness, what is there left for you? What’s in it for me?

Maybe you should blindly take up a religious faith and don’t allow yourself to question that faith. That route, researchers say, can lead to happiness and a longer life.

Or perhaps you are one of those people who stick with finding out what is real, what is true. You yearn to know absolutely. Faith and belief are not enough for you.

The silver lining is that when you fully embrace non-duality, your life may get better, there will be an ease and, just maybe, you will live longer. But at this point you are so dis-identified with the separate self, that the thought of dying does not concern you. Survival is not what motivates you.

You are happy to live as long as you live, whether that be to 50 years old or 100 years old. The search for longevity is over.

I’m  spending a day with my family: eating good food, drinking fine wine, opening presents, taking the dog for a walk in the snow, playing silly board games. A normal Christmas I suppose.

What is the meaning of Christmas?

As I am not a Christian then I do not have religious feelings about Christmas. For me, Christmas has no meaning. It is there to be enjoyed. Indulging in pleasurable experiences needs no reason.

Being awake means that a lot of things that I do in life are no different from people around me. The only thing that changes is the interpretation of events and actions. There is less clinging, less identifying with my actions as being who I am.

Yes, eat, drink and be merry. Feel love and peace for the world. Reflect on the year that’s been and the year that lies ahead. With purpose and meaning removed from all this, then everything just is as it is.

Let everything be as it is.

But also leave room for mystery.

Image via Wikipedia

The human brain has evolved to do complicated things. Whenever I see a scientist pictured in front of a blackboard covered with equations, I think to myself how complicated the equations look, and what a brilliant mind the scientist must have to figure it all out.

I’ve just finished a computer program Life Manager Pro that involved hundreds of lines of computer code. My brain managed to sort out all the complex interactions involved to make the program do what it is supposed to do.

The human brain is great at complex stuff like this, but when it comes to non-duality there is a tendency to over complicate what it is all about. If you go to Non Duality Press you will find lots of books written about non-duality. If you read them all there is the danger that you mind will make non-duality into some intellectual puzzle that needs solving.

I was thinking of how to express the essence of my perspective in as few a words as possible. How do I reduce all the ideas and concepts to their essence?

There is no need to ponder about the nature of non-dualism, speculate on oneness or the existence of the separate self.  As complex as the brain is, it will never really get this, so don’t bother trying.

The short version of the essence is:

Let it be.

The long version is:

Let everything be as it is.

If you can stop here and get this, then there is no need to read any other of my blog entries or go to non-duality press and order any of their books.

If you want further explanation of what let it be means, then it may help to see what starts to falls away when you let it be:

• Seeking
• Clinging
• Choices
• Preferences
• Identity
• Judgement
• Identification
• Every thing
• No thing

Rest in your own being. Be indifferent to your mind and your ego. They are not your friends neither are they enemies.

There is nowhere to go. Nothing to be. Nothing to do.

Is this non-duality?

When the labels and logos have gone, nothing is left.

Welcome to paradise, or is this hell? At this point you do not care.

There is a myth that spiritual teachers have gone beyond their egos.

Later that night I went to a birthday party where someone asked me about non-duality.

“How can it benefit me?” she asked.

In American, Jeff was talking to groups of 2oo plus. I suppose a lot of them were interested in non-duality in order to reap some form of benefit. There are the spiritual seekers looking for answers. There are those who are going through emotional pain because their lives are not going too well.

Often non-duality is expressed as a search for truth rather than a solution to your pain. During a question and answer session someone will ask about how the teacher’s life has changed since they became awake. Some teachers fudge this issue by pointing out that this is about truth, not a sort of self-help fix.

Still people ask:

• What’s in it for me?
• Will it make me feel better?
• Will it stop this pain?
• Will it make me happy

So, how can it make you feel?

Most people “get” non-duality by seeing the wholeness of existence and the non-separation of self. Seeing this, spiritual seeking stops. That is a great relief, for the spiritual search is always a struggle.  There may be times of joy and laughter, but for most of the time , spiritual seekers suffer from anxiety and angst about the struggle to move from where they are to where they think that they want to be. The spiritual seeker is rarely content with where they are because they believe that there is that beautiful, better land called enlightenment, somewhere over there, but never here. It’s such a relief when seeking ceases.

When seeking is dropped there is a euphoria. At last, I am free, the mind says. I’ve reached the top of the spiritual mountain. They are usually only half way up the mountain. Half way up is great. You can look down on the world below and sense the oneness of it all and feel happy. It is so nice there that some people decide to stay.

Then this thing called the ego creeps back and plays all sorts of tricks on you. You  become a great spiritual, nondual advaitist teacher. You feel that every meeting should be filled with hundreds of eager seekers. You throw a fit when only a handful turn up. Your takings are down.

You begin to criticise other teachers. You have the pure version of non-duality, theirs is distorted. And any teacher that is embraced by the masses  via Oprah Winfrey, has to be shallow and un-realised.

How, then do you get to the top of the mountain?

The answer is simple, just lose all identification and identity. The mind does what it does: fires of random thoughts and feelings at you all the time. Allow this to happen, but have no identification with it.

• Jealousy arises
• Fear arises
• Insecurity arises
• Love arises
• Peace arises

The energy of the mind, no matter what form it takes, what emotion it coalesces into, is not you, who you really are. Rest in the void and allow the mind to function as it functions. In this beingness or presence, there is no clinging, no attachment, no grasping. Mind forms arise, then subside, constant waves of thoughts and feelings, which just are. Allow them to be.

Then there is freedom and no need for therapy, self improvement, self development, self anything. Rest in where you are.

There is no need to tame the mind, or focus the mind on some distracting mantra or breath yoga. The mind is not your enemy. The ego is not your enemy. Become indifferent to its rants and raves.

You then have a chance to reach the top of the mountain.

When you get there  jump off.

“Don’t you miss all that? Where do you get your peak experiences from?” she asked.

No, I don’t miss it and I don’t need peak experiences.

Do I miss my spirtual days when I searched for the truth about, life, the universe and everything? No, for there was always a conflict, an anguish and a thirst for answers, and tension between where I was and where I thought I needed to be. Now there is much more ease. There is nothing left to search for, only an exploration of where I am.

Many people associate non-duality with spirituality. There is a link between Advaita, a branch of Hinduism and non-duality. Many people come to non-duality after being on a spiritual path. It is therefore understandable that non-duality is seen in a spiritual context.

The problem I have with the word spiritual is that it tends to give the impression that life can be divided into the spiritual and non-spiritual, the sacred and the profane. Once this is done, there is also the tendency to value one more than the other. Peace dancing is seen as more important than jogging. Sitting at the feet of the spiritual master is seen as more important than sitting at your desk at work.

What is actually happening right now? There is just life lived always in the present. Consciousness plays and the energy I feel I sometimes label good, and I sometimes label it bad. But the labels are not the actuality,  just as the map is not the territory. There is no division, no context of the mind, body or spirit.

I have even heard it said by some non-dual speakers that non-duality gives you some sort of insight into the mind of God, and this would appear to exclude atheists.  Can an atheist embrace non-duality? My experience of non-duality has given me no insight into God  or any other spiritual matter. Neither am I seeking such insight. Am I an atheist? No, I am really an agnostic because I have no idea whether there is a God or not, whether there is something guiding the Universe or whether there is just randomness and chaos. It’s all a mystery. And I embrace the mystery. I do not need the God puzzle to be solved.

Let’s chuck spirituality, God and religion out of non-duality and live with the mystery of it all. If you find yourself chopping wood then chop wood. If you find yourself fetching water then fetch water.

And whilst I’m about it, maybe I should throw away the concept of non-duality.

• I am not spiritual
• I am not religious
• I am not God
• I am not an advaitist
• I am not a non-dualist
• I am not a philosopher
• I am not English
• I am not Stephen
• I am not…

Then who am I when all that makes up my identity has gone? What is left?

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The human race is fond of complaining:

• I don’t like the weather
• I hate the way my boss treats me
• I hate the way my partner treats me
• I don’t like my bad habits
• I don’t like this meal

The list of things to complain and whine about appears endless.

What would happen if you caught yourself in the act of complaining and decided to stop?  How would you feel?

I’m not suggesting that you adopt a policy of positive thinking and positive affirmations. Both complaining and positive thinking are states that you appear to choose. What would happen if you chose no state, but just let everything be as it is, without judgment, without a view?

This may sound more like a self-development talk than non-duality. What has it to do with non-duality?

The non-dual perspective moves you away from obsession with your life story and all its dramas. You become less concerned with your own ego, your wants and desires. Having seen the vast emptiness from which all thoughts and feelings arise then subside into, you begin to loose all meaning. You and your life no longer have a purpose and meaning.

“What!” you may exclaim in horror. “I have to have a meaning and purpose in life. What else can I live for?”

Why not just live in a state of not-knowing, not-believing, no faith, no hopes, no dreams, no fears? Is such a thing possible? Can you really let go of all that you hold dear and important in your life? Can you just give up?

What then? Do you become a insensitive, uncaring person? Apparently not.

Love arises, freedom arises… Time to go, time to go…