I Am Not a Non-Dualist

I recently met an old friend who I had not seen for some time. She lives in the spiritual community called Findhorn and she does lots of spiritual activities – peace dancing, singing Sufi songs, Laughing Yoga. She was surprised that I had given up all spiritual practices and reminded me of the days when we would talk about my latest spiritual teacher, my spiritual journeys to India, all the spiritual books that I was reading.

“Don’t you miss all that? Where do you get your peak experiences from?” she asked.

No, I don’t miss it and I don’t need peak experiences.

Do I miss my spirtual days when I searched for the truth about, life, the universe and everything? No, for there was always a conflict, an anguish and a thirst for answers, and tension between where I was and where I thought I needed to be. Now there is much more ease. There is nothing left to search for, only an exploration of where I am.

Many people associate non-duality with spirituality. There is a link between Advaita, a branch of Hinduism and non-duality. Many people come to non-duality after being on a spiritual path. It is therefore understandable that non-duality is seen in a spiritual context.

The problem I have with the word spiritual is that it tends to give the impression that life can be divided into the spiritual and non-spiritual, the sacred and the profane. Once this is done, there is also the tendency to value one more than the other. Peace dancing is seen as more important than jogging. Sitting at the feet of the spiritual master is seen as more important than sitting at your desk at work.

What is actually happening right now? There is just life lived always in the present. Consciousness plays and the energy I feel I sometimes label good, and I sometimes label it bad. But the labels are not the actuality,  just as the map is not the territory. There is no division, no context of the mind, body or spirit.

I have even heard it said by some non-dual speakers that non-duality gives you some sort of insight into the mind of God, and this would appear to exclude atheists.  Can an atheist embrace non-duality? My experience of non-duality has given me no insight into God  or any other spiritual matter. Neither am I seeking such insight. Am I an atheist? No, I am really an agnostic because I have no idea whether there is a God or not, whether there is something guiding the Universe or whether there is just randomness and chaos. It’s all a mystery. And I embrace the mystery. I do not need the God puzzle to be solved.

Let’s chuck spirituality, God and religion out of non-duality and live with the mystery of it all. If you find yourself chopping wood then chop wood. If you find yourself fetching water then fetch water.

And whilst I’m about it, maybe I should throw away the concept of non-duality.

• I am not spiritual
• I am not religious
• I am not God
• I am not an advaitist
• I am not a non-dualist
• I am not a philosopher
• I am not English
• I am not Stephen
• I am not…

Then who am I when all that makes up my identity has gone? What is left?