Halfway Up the Mountain

I went to dinner with Jeff Foster and some friends this weekend. He has just come back from the USA where he was giving talks on non-duality. He also met a lot of other non-duality teachers who surprised him with the amount of ego they appeared to have.

There is a myth that spiritual teachers have gone beyond their egos.

Later that night I went to a birthday party where someone asked me about non-duality.

“How can it benefit me?” she asked.

In American, Jeff was talking to groups of 2oo plus. I suppose a lot of them were interested in non-duality in order to reap some form of benefit. There are the spiritual seekers looking for answers. There are those who are going through emotional pain because their lives are not going too well.

Often non-duality is expressed as a search for truth rather than a solution to your pain. During a question and answer session someone will ask about how the teacher’s life has changed since they became awake. Some teachers fudge this issue by pointing out that this is about truth, not a sort of self-help fix.

Still people ask:

• What’s in it for me?
• Will it make me feel better?
• Will it stop this pain?
• Will it make me happy

So, how can it make you feel?

Most people “get” non-duality by seeing the wholeness of existence and the non-separation of self. Seeing this, spiritual seeking stops. That is a great relief, for the spiritual search is always a struggle.  There may be times of joy and laughter, but for most of the time , spiritual seekers suffer from anxiety and angst about the struggle to move from where they are to where they think that they want to be. The spiritual seeker is rarely content with where they are because they believe that there is that beautiful, better land called enlightenment, somewhere over there, but never here. It’s such a relief when seeking ceases.

When seeking is dropped there is a euphoria. At last, I am free, the mind says. I’ve reached the top of the spiritual mountain. They are usually only half way up the mountain. Half way up is great. You can look down on the world below and sense the oneness of it all and feel happy. It is so nice there that some people decide to stay.

Then this thing called the ego creeps back and plays all sorts of tricks on you. You  become a great spiritual, nondual advaitist teacher. You feel that every meeting should be filled with hundreds of eager seekers. You throw a fit when only a handful turn up. Your takings are down.

You begin to criticise other teachers. You have the pure version of non-duality, theirs is distorted. And any teacher that is embraced by the masses  via Oprah Winfrey, has to be shallow and un-realised.

How, then do you get to the top of the mountain?

The answer is simple, just lose all identification and identity. The mind does what it does: fires of random thoughts and feelings at you all the time. Allow this to happen, but have no identification with it.

• Jealousy arises
• Fear arises
• Insecurity arises
• Love arises
• Peace arises

The energy of the mind, no matter what form it takes, what emotion it coalesces into, is not you, who you really are. Rest in the void and allow the mind to function as it functions. In this beingness or presence, there is no clinging, no attachment, no grasping. Mind forms arise, then subside, constant waves of thoughts and feelings, which just are. Allow them to be.

Then there is freedom and no need for therapy, self improvement, self development, self anything. Rest in where you are.

There is no need to tame the mind, or focus the mind on some distracting mantra or breath yoga. The mind is not your enemy. The ego is not your enemy. Become indifferent to its rants and raves.

You then have a chance to reach the top of the mountain.

When you get there  jump off.